I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize