He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
