i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
