My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
