my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
