You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
