And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
