I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize