when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
