windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
