i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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