Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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