Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
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I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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