I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
