Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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