Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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