I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
