She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
