It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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