But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
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U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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