I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I pour the whiskey from now on
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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