I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
