She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
