this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
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I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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