The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I love having hate sex.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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