I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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