I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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