And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
