There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
