I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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