STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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