seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
And then my night got REAL pukey
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
