No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize