i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I will be naked everywhere
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
