Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
