that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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