its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
