Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
