**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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