Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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