Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
