Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
