In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
