shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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