Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
