Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Randomize
