like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
