he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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