That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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