how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
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Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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