Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
