So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize