Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
