i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
