I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
