Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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