its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My vagina just clenched in fear
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