Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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