your room smells of hookers.
And success
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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