he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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