The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
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im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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