I'm drive I can fine osifer
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
