If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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