Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
